D - I'm sorry you're struggling. Until you reach a point of no return, meaning you will be fine no matter the outcome, do not have the talk with your W. The worst that can happen is you get D, which you've clearly indicated you don't want.
If NOT getting D is still your main goal, no talking. If you believe you can continue to DB after a D, and the current situation is harming you too much, then a talk is okay. If you're through waiting, willing to move on, need this over - talk is necessary.
Do you see what I'm saying? Of the three scenarios above, the greatest risk of getting D is gained by talking about the situation right now. She might come to her senses after a talk, but I'd rate the probability as pretty low. You gave plenty of clues that she's still wrapped up in herself. She seems to be coming around somewhat. I don't think the time is right.
