LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (4)

[Zephyr]

Looks like u did just fine with that stuff g...and yes she is in wack-a-doodle-do fantasy land.

[otw]

No. She is wrong on the house.

[gs9]

Thank you Zeph and otw. LOL! Wack-a-doodle-do fantasy land is funny!!!
Over the last 8 years she has been working her way up the ranks in the fantasy land of Wack-a-doodle-do. She has crazied her way up to the title of Ambassador but I can see she is looking to rule the whole land. It is only a matter of time *evil finger pyramid*

otw- maybe I should demand 75% of the equity since she is the one leaving the M, pushing the D and pushing for it to happen quickly. We would have to get L's and then there would be no equity or she would give in and settle to giving me 60% of the equity to not slow the process down......hmmmm.....this thought is definitely churning in my head. I know it's an evil, selfish and vengeful thought but it's hard not to give a foothold.

[otw]

a judge will make it 50/50, whatever you guys agree to on your own is up to you. Or if there is other items tat can offset one person getting more than the other that is the only ways i know of. you cant just get more because you want it all assets are split 50/50. I had in my agreement that i will pay her 50% of the equity but i have the option to make payments over 2 years and i would not have to start payments until D is final. Bought myself some time.

[gs9]

That's what I thought too. The mortgage guy said that sometimes they calculate what the house may increase in value over the next year and then use that number. We've been seeing 10% increases year over year. I'm not paying her potential value increase over the next year. She's the one pushing for the D to happen quickly. Seems like I should have some leverage here.

[gs9]

Need to vent....I'm thankful for this place

1. Since a year ago Aug when I was unfaithful my WW's verbal, emotional and physical abuse was magnified to more than anyone should ever endure

2. In May she began her 1st of at least 3 A's. She often used these A's to hurt me more. Saying things such as "I'm glad I f'd him, he was so good, I wish I was doing it again now".

3. In sept she filed D

4. She initially wanted no child support but then changed her mind while at the family court facilitator. I've agreed to some. It's not a lot but it's still more than $0. D scheduled to be finalized on Dec 18th

5. On Tuesday we were audited by the IRS. That's fun. I spent several days preparing for it. I need to get them a good amount of additional receipts but at this moment if I do not provide the receipts we owe $17K

6. Last week my good friend and coworkers 3 week old niece passed away

7. Yesterday a family friend passed away

8. Yesterday WW told me she was told she should receive more than 50% of the equity

9. bought a new truck which is a blessing but the 1st dealership cashed a $5K check that they were not supposed to cash. I'm getting it back but it's a hassle.

10. This morning WW said she was staying with the boys at their dad's house bc dad is out of town. D4 asked if there was a bed there that she could sleep with mommy and daddy in it. Breaks my heart.

*sigh* That feels better

[gs9]

This morning WW asked again about getting more of the equity because I'm keeping the house.

I told her "I'm frustrated by that bc I have a lot of bad memories in the house too and the main reason I'm stretching my finances to stay is to maintain some normalcy for D4. D4 has asked several times about living there forever."

She said "you don't get to feel frustrated".

I said "Yes I do. They are my feelings and I have a right to my feelings"

She said " You don't get to dump your frustration on me. I'm frustrated because I thought we were going to live her forever."

she began to leave the room and I said "You're the one choosing to leave, not me."

She said " you forget what the catalyst was for all this." and slammed the door shut.

I shouldn't have expressed my feelings of frustration to her. she has never acknowledged or validated my feelings and I didn't expect her to this time. I did want her to know I only want to stay in the house for D4.

She continues to want to live in the past, rewrite history so that everything is my fault and accept 0 part of the blame for our M falling apart. Still not surprising. It's been only recently when she first admitted to being wrong about anything.
She accepts no responsibility for her actions or words. She blames her A's on me. I do not accept this blame. Her choices her consequences. Her circus...her monkeys.

[gs9]

Need advice
WW called to ask about the equity again. I told her I believe 50/50 would be adequate because she would no longer be responsible for the risk or liability. Also, whatever she buys would be her asset. She got quiet.....I said "ok, have a good night. Good bye" and hung up

She called back to ask about D4. I answered her question. She went quiet for 5-10 seconds. I said "ok, good bye" She said " I can wait..." I hung up.

Just received a text from her it says " I actually thought you might think I contributed a TON to your financial welfare and I might be a little better off providing for your daughter you MIGHT consider not being selfish"

She's manipulating again trying to get more money out of me. No doubt and she won't get more.

But my question- Is this a perfect time for a truth dart. Do I message her back and say "Selfish? The only one this D benefits is you. That's selfishness. You are the one choosing this"

Or do I just ignore it?

[otw]

I would reply that this will be difficult on both of plus financially. I can see your concerns. I am also trying to ensure I can care for daughter as well. And then nothing more.

[gs9]

Still kicking this around. I still haven't answered.