So conflicted. Seperated from my wife.

[dwh15]

Even though I didn't get my wife back I've learned so much from reading and being on this forum. I will use all this in the future with future relationships to make sure this doesn't happen again. Thanks everyone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers

Sorry to hear that's where you're at, but I get it. I'm in the same boat, after a few weeks of doing the "pick me" dance, then several more months of the best DBing principles I could apply, and it wasn't making any difference. How long do you allow your W to make an open mockery of your M before you decide you can't take it any longer?

Good luck in your journey, wherever that may lead. Take your lessons to heart, and I really hope you do find happiness in the future.

[Azzork]

I decided that after four months of dealing with this I can't anymore.
In terms of what, exactly? How will you go about just "turning it off"?

It's taking too much of a toll on me. I told her that I cannot live like this anymore.
Oh. I see. So what youre saying is that you want to pull the plug on the chances of reconciling. OK. I understand that.

If she didn't want to be in the marriage or work on it I couldn't be her husband anymore.
I think it's clear she doesnt....

She wanted to stay married for financial reasons but I'm done doing favors for someone who disconnected herself from me and our son for another man.
Agree. Nobody is saying you should be doing that.

I literally can't take pacing and thinking about her all day. It's just too much.
How does saying "I refuse to be married to you anymore" change this? PHYSICAL separation is NOT the same as EMOTIONAL separation. Just because you kick her out doesnt mean that you will stop these behaviors. The best way to stop thinking about her is to think about something else. By getting youself a life.

I need to move on with my life and this brings an end but also a new beginning for me.
Nobody is saying you need to keep trying to bust your divorce. Hell, I stopped too. My point is that SAYING you are done and BEING done are two totally different things. Im concerned that you havent put in the work to BE done; if so, then I dont see how your next R is any better.

She still blames me and said "you pushed me into another man's arms I didn't want this". I deserve better and will continue to improve myself. Even though I didn't get my wife back I've learned so much from reading and being on this forum. I will use all this in the future with future relationships to make sure this doesn't happen again. Thanks everyone. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Wishing you the best of luck going forward.

[Huddy]

I did all this stuff four months ago. Get your arse in gear, have a couple of weeks away from the forum, then get back here to sort your position out!

I know exactly how you feel. Nothings working; the talking's not working; it's time to give up and forget it - wrong. This is the time you realise that actually you haven't been doing very well and you need to revisit everything from the beginning. You're looking way too much in to the actions of your W. You should really be working on yourself, so that your W will eventually start to notice and the dynamic changes.

It's not easy bud, but you can do this. Azzork is a master at goal setting. Let him talk you through a few and it'll start to click in to place.