Your actions could be considered passive aggressive simply because you didn't tell her the truth. If you are going to do such things and she asks why tell her something along the lines that her recent behavior has led you to feel that you can no longer support her as you have done before in such situations.
Rather than going at it a bit haphazardly you need to read the DR book first and formulate goals and plans which could include when and where you are going to change your behavior and to what end.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
