Hi Sotto,
Wow. Impressive list. But you never back down from a challenge. Thank you for your honesty. I think your question about distance vs detachment is a very valid and savvy one. Many people think putting distance between themselves and someone else is detachment.
WRONG.
Distance is absence. Detachment is being in a non-reactive state as a response to something done or said by the other. At least that's my understanding.

One can be in the same bed as their partner every night, sleeping side by side, yet be detached.

Make sense? I'm ready to fall asleep as I type so I will leave you with that and my fond wishes for you xoxoxo

M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver