Newcomer Looking For Advice

[Strngr!]

Hello sandi thanks for your responce i appreciate the advice very much from what i can tell from my short time here you are blessing to each and everyone of us here. I have read all the posts up above that cadet has posted and everything makes a lot of sence. I feel like detatchment and boundaries and validation all seems to be the best course of action. However i feel sared when i think about trying to get that ball rolling and i habe a ton of questions maybe reading books and more post will supply all the answeres however i thought i would post some of the questions i had below.

To start i dont understand how i can go from telling my W i want to work with her on our M and that i want to fix all the issue i have moving forward (Paying her more attention when im around, helping clean house, showing her more affection) and flip to not doing those things as much or at all for that matter?

Is it possible to be detatched but still living in the same house?

Can working on the house renovations and such be part of working on myself to be better man?

Does it need to be me who initiates the detatchment? she has talked alot about needing space to sort out her feelings.

Part of the reason i feel this will work is because she does realy on me so much already for a ton and i guess i am guilty of tending to her. The fact that me not being there for her will upset her will that not make her resent me for her being so dependent on me?

If i go from wanting to work on or M to wanting nothing to do with working on that wont that just upset her even more?

How will this all work and òwhat kind of complications will there be because of my son?

I have many more questions running though my brain just cant really put them words to paper!