LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M (4)

[dwh15]

ut oh.

Very attractive woman began flirting with me Monday night at the gym and worked out with me Monday and Tuesday night. She now wants to hang out this weekend. If I do I will try to arrange a group setting.
She's been separated for 4 years and her D finalizes next week. She knows mine finalizes next month. She and her friend actually said "stay M no matter how awful your W is".

It feels good to be approached and flirted with. I do understand it's just a coping mechanism.

I don't see anything wrong with flirting with women, or even with dating, as long as you keep it casual. And no, I don't mean casual sex. But spending some time getting to know women, having dinner, etc. Like you said, it's a coping mechanism and I'm all for anything which helps one cope. Now the trick is keeping from becoming emotionally attached, and also in being totally honest about your situation and emotional state, so that you do not end up using others to ease your own pain.

Not everyone will agree with me, and I do believe it depends on the individual and the current circumstances in your unique situation. There is always a chance that it could make R with your WW even more difficult, so that is a risk you have to be willing to take. Sure, it's a double-standard but that is what you are dealing with in a wayward spouse situation - you don't get to do the same things they already have done or are still doing.

In my case, I've resigned myself to the fact my M is over and decided I was going to start casually dating. If my WW finds out, so be it. I'm not going to feel bad, after what she's put me through. I'm very honest about my current status with anyone that I meet, and always tell them I'm not looking for anything serious until after my D is final. If that's too much for them to handle, then I wish them well and move on.

Decide what you feel is right for you, treat people with respect, and I think you will be fine. That being said, if you still believe there is any chance of R with your WW, I would probably hold off on dating for a while.