Moving Forward

[Enigma]

Hey EMMess, definitely agree dealing with all these emotions at once is rough.

I think for those of us that put the work in on investing in ourselves, we will grow and mature in ways we never imagined. It is from being at our lowest point that we begin the climb and there is no ceiling so it is up to us how high we wish to climb.

In one of my previous posts, I wrote that we need to be open to everything this new stage in our lives brings, even the possibility of meeting someone new. I still hold out hope, and know that the current relationship with my will get better with time, in what direction it goes, that I am not sure of.

This is very true. Given the current reality of our situation, I feel being open to possibilities provides for a fulfilling life.

Today, continuing to work on forgiveness, letting go, surrendering, and letting God.

Yes this is very challenging. The key I am working on right now is forgiveness. Before, I thought that I needed to forgive my wife for her A and what she has done. I thought forgiveness was for her and that it would be a single point in time that "I Forgive" then it's done. After some reflection, I realize forgiveness is also a journey. And it's more for myself. I'm not there yet, but each day gets better in line with detachment from the situation.

Hoping to get to a point in which my wife occupies less headspace than she does currently. Working on my obsession with what she is doing and reminding myself that this is about ourselves, healing ourselves.

This is very difficult for me as well. The constant thinking of her and what she is doing, where she and OM are with S2 at any given time she has him, and the lives forever changed, etc. I realize I have detached largely from the situation itself, but not from her. We will ebb and flow and in time as our own lives unfold into the new chapter and we continue to heal, I believe our thoughts of our wives (as we remember them) will fade. You are right in that we can shine the spotlight on ourselves and focus on us. It starts with one day at a time.

The following quote is one of my favorites, and I plan on purchasing it in a wooden sign to constantly remind me of its message:

Quote of the day:

“Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about those who don’t.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, take it.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”

- Harvey MacKay

For those interested in somethings to stay positive:

11 secrets of the Alchemist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YVOaksk5lA

God Bless

This is great and love it!

I get we will have our ups and downs and we will experience raw emotion that we should feel and accept (but not act negatively upon). But this quote.. this positive view.. this is what we are striving towards. Happy with ourselves as we are, allowing people that treat us with respect around us, and choosing to not allow people that disrespect us not be in our lives. Thankfully people can change and grow with effort (we are examples of this), so if our wives decide to meet us here at some point and put in the work, we can decide together on where to go.

Take care and it looks as though you are on a great path.