Hi Lou, I'm glad to see an update from you; I've been wondering how you were getting along. I agree with Job that I don't see the harm in reaching out and keeping in touch that little bit more - and just gauging the response. You can always do a gradual thing and pull back a little if your H doesn't come back to you. He's given you that feedback, so it seems reasonable to adjust your approach I think. I take the push comment to mean that he would like to hear from you a little more....not to push things along as such - but just be 'there' and 'in touch' on a light basis a little more often. To me, push means trying to move things along to the next stage, which I would avoid right now.

Interesting that he didn't come back to you on the trip though. I wonder if he perhaps feels a little overwhelmed with that one? I agree though - you have plans to make and if you can ask with no expectations and then make your plans - that all seems fine to me.

Sorry things have been challenging at work and home. So, what are your plans for January....do you plan to move back to the area where H is? I can see the merit in not being a plane ride away if you are slowly trying to reconnect. I guess my note of caution is that he is still digging within himself to deal with things (which is great) and is saying he doesn't have much to offer romantically right now. And I think fair enough on his part to be that honest.

If you do plan to move and it suits you to move - might it be best to do it under your own steam and plan to live independently but closer - and see how that goes? ie; making plans for a life for you in the area and hoping that you and he may also reconnect further? It strikes me that you are at an early pre-piecing stage, where you have started to reconnect, but all still quite tentative, with him sounding pretty fragile - albeit willing in time....timid squirrel.

Just my thoughts anyway Lou....and of course I am no vet - just dealing with the twists and turns of life as best I can. smile

Take care and good luck with your plans xx


Last edited by Sotto; 11/11/15 01:04 PM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus