I have been playing DJ with your music selections the last couple of nights. As for Lady V. I will think of you on the 21st of November when I Stevie Nicks and I'll give her little wink and nod pretending it's you all scrubbed up!
I like the trumpet thing, have you considered getting into? Maybe you can be the dad that plays in a cool dad! Or just the dad that embarrass their kids by reliving their youth. I say let your trumpet trill baby!
I'm sure the transition of he kids being out of the home for extended periods makes the house seem empty. I am guessing you work when the kids are not home??? The Thanksgiving arrangements sound difficult. I am not the right person to ask about this, given I have only experienced these difficulties as a social worker and as a step parent for a short time.
My gut response is similar to yours, that separate is best, or a minimization of what you did in the past. I am a great believer in the power of ritual and tradition being a healing intervention for children/young people managing change. This includes creating new rituals and new traditions. Something the captures their heart and minds. Old and new for a time probably.
I really don't know U, maybe you need ease D15 into this change for holidays. Maybe Thanksgiving D15 gets her way, and you give her heaps of preparation and anticipated new ritual and tradition for Christmas. I would let her determine how Christmas goes, but be really sure to ensure she understands that mum and dad do Christmas separately now, how to you want to make it happen D15? The other thing too, you have two young men, who may also want a say.
Holiday Season...Not my favourite time of year.
I get your sense about the competition thing. I have seen and heard it before. I guess you are in the position a lot of woman are in when they separate. The women have been providing most of the caregiving for their children for so long, now the fathers are required to step up in away that they never have. Makes a lot of mother's feel insecure don't you worry.
Your rational brain knows that there is no competition and that your relationship with your kids is yours, untouched. Its your heart that is playing tricks on you. This is just an evolution of your children's relationship with you. Just like when they didn't need to you tie their shoelaces anymore, or when you willingly let them go to the mall on their own without supervision. Your kids love and adore you and you know you have a pretty solid foundation to call on to get you and your lovely children through this. Given their ages, they also need to take some responsibility for themselves and their relationship with each of their parents.
Have faith U, you have brought you beautiful children this far and they are intact!
I want to see the Indiana Dunes. It sounds like an awesome experience.
As for your warmish weather 4c and 15c during the day, that is Auckland's winter weather temp wise, but it rains heaps in Auckland over winter so it is cold and wet. And yes it does snow in NZ, just not in the upper north island. Although three years ago Auckland got a tiny bit of snow for about 30mins. Aucklanders were We have some of the best skiing country in the world. Check out Mt Ruapehu in the North Island or Queenstown in the South Island . If you ever came down this way I would definitely take you to Queenstown.
So I checked out the Avett Brothers, interesting vibe. I couldn't figure out if I liked them. I'm electronica or house music more than folk, but I love a good singer songwriter. Im going to give them a bit more of listen over the weekend.
So here is a list of the real sound of kiwi music: Trinity Roots - Home Land Sea - whole album rocks and for me reminds me a summer days , NZ beaches and chilling out to good music with a great friends and good food on the barbie (BBQ)
Fat Freddy's Drop - Any of their albums will give you the vibe.
Check out the Black Seeds, that have connections to Flight of Concords
Six60- they are huge in Germany. They have a more pop vibe.
Holly Smith - Long Player- I had it on repeat for six months. Her voice is divine. Bathe in River was another song written by an Iconic NZ singer song writer Don McGlashen - check out Anchor me - one of my fav songs by him.
You may appreciate Nathan Haines. Kiwi guy who made good in the UK and Europe. Playing his sax and producing music. Squire for Hire was his breakthrough album.
I have more but this is likely enough to keep you going for a couple of weeks. LOL Something to do in your down time.
