what an awesome day I had yesterday... couldn't have been better. Started off with an early morning gym session, then a 5k then finishing a group project for school. Then a friend came over and helped me do some face painting for my costume for a party later.. then a few more friends came by.
With my friends here, and me in my full halloween get up, my SIL stopped by with my 6 year old niece. I have not seen them in over 4 months. My niece gave me a huge hug and I was so happy to see her. My SIL got to see me being really happy with a bunch of friends around and she loved my costume. The only negative was that my 12 year old niece was not there (getting too old to be with her mom on halloween). But on our way to the party, my older niece sent me a text saying how great my costume was and that she wished she could see it. Really put me on cloud 9.
Then it was off to the party. There were only 4 people that I knew that were there, everyone else was more or less strangers.... but what a good time. Some very serious costumes and they went all out decorating their house. Very social, everyone was just having a blast. There was definitely a lot of flirting going on, nothing serious but just to see that that interest was there was great. Ended up there until 4 in the morning... yikes.
I can honestly say that while I was there, my wife was not on my mind 1 bit..... it was just fantastic.
After my outstanding weekend, I got my first unsolicited text from my wife today. I think it has a lot to do with the weekend I had or she wants to bring up D discussions. Anyway, it is no big deal but she asks "so do you have to go to Taiwan?"... which I am not because it didn't get approved. Any thoughts on if/how to respond? I am going to let it linger for a while... I know this is not the real reason she is texting me....
By going to Taiwan are you being true to yourself. You needs come before MR.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
It was for business... She doesn't care about that trust me... Just wondering the right way to respond... I don't care too much at the moment but I am still on that high from the weekend
That text she sent was at 9 AM... I texted her back at around 1130 PM since I had hockey anyway. I just said... "It got denied, too bad to because I was looking forward to it".
She actually texted my back first thing this morning with "You were up late! I thought you didn't want to go to Taiwan? Prob not safe to fly international right now anyways."
I don't think there is a need to respond to that one... thoughts? Recall that these are the first uninitiated texts that I am getting in about 3.5 months.
That text she sent was at 9 AM... I texted her back at around 1130 PM since I had hockey anyway. I just said... "It got denied, too bad to because I was looking forward to it".
She actually texted my back first thing this morning with "You were up late! I thought you didn't want to go to Taiwan? Prob not safe to fly international right now anyways."
I don't think there is a need to respond to that one... thoughts? Recall that these are the first uninitiated texts that I am getting in about 3.5 months.
Youre not going to believe this, but I think I would reply back here. Something short. "I was starting to come around to the idea" or something.
Been reading DR cover to cover. Definitely very helpful.
Have not heard my wife since her few texts last week. I still consider it a big deal since it was the first time she had contacted me on her own in 3.5 months. I look at it as a step, but I do not get overly excited about it. I didn't even care that much which was unbelievable to me.
Actually, I have been thinking a lot about my next move here. Here is the problem that I am having a hard time with. If I play my cards right, do I think there would be another shot? I do. I have been through this before. But, let's just say it does work out and we end up back together. How does that work? After going through this a few times, how could I possibly be comfortable in that relationship? I can't be walking on wife-shells all the time wondering if this is the day I wake up and it is over again. She has decided more than once that I am not right for her. She has been able to see what is out there off and on for the past 16 years while I just sat by waiting for her. I missed a lot of opportunities to get to know other women, maybe I missed the right one. My eyes have been opened and I see that there is a lot out there.
There would be so much work that needs to be done to make our new marriage special. I do not know if either of us have it in us. I think it could be done, but it would be hard.
I keep telling myself wait until the new year, and then re-evaluate. As I think about it, my mind is constantly flipping, but right now I feel like it might be best to let this go. Short marriage (but long history), no children... I would hate to be in this same exact spot again in another 3 years maybe with a child then.
man have I learned how important GAL'ing is the past the few days. I broke my ribs playing hockey last week and have not been able to do my usual activities and sleep has been terrible. Boy does the mind race all over the place. I have to be a bit careful the next few days to make sure I do not do anything dumb while my head is not clear. Hopefully tomorrow I can get back to the gym and get back into things again.
Pretty much status quo for me lately... feeling good though. Had one more bit of contact with my wife... nothing major. I received an email from Amazon about a safety issue with a product I had bought that my wife has now. I read the safety concern, I didn't think it was a big deal, but the email said it was my responsibility to inform the person who has the product. So I asked, would I pass this email off to someone else if I gave it to them as a gift??... the answer is yes, yes I would. So I fowarded her the email and said.... "hey there... careful with that blendah! Hope you have a fantastic weekend". I thought this was OK, no pressure. She did respond quickly and blapped on about the blender and what people must have done.
So the signposts I take away as good were that she responded and that she blapped on a bit. I would have liked her to have asked something about me, but that is OK.
So we have had a few interactions the past few weeks that have definitely been better than anything I had before I went to no contact. I am just going to step back again now and see if she reaches out over the next few weeks. baby steps.... baby steps.
