I divorced my first husband and for the most part it was a amicable separation and divorce. We got married way too young and because I was pregnant. I also had a long term relationship come to an end after 9 years. It was rough, but again I moved on.
Why oh why do I have such a hard time letting go of my H? I know I can go it alone. I have before. Once when my kids were little and then again when they were teenagers. I can do this!!!!! But I really don't want to. My H and I got married with the understanding that a few years into the marriage we would be by ourselves. My kids grown and gone. Just him and I! We made plans for our future...and he walked away from it all. I do wonder often if it was because I became ill. He is adamant that my sickness had nothing to do with it, but maybe he really couldn't handle the thought of having to take care of me.
One other thing I realized....I thought when I met my H that I had hit the jackpot. Never been married, no children......no baggage!? My long term relationship before had an ex-wife and a step-son involved. Lots of drama, court cases and in the end I lost most contact with my SS. Very painful. What I didn't realize is that my H was just too selfish to put anyone besides himself as a priority. That is why he never got married. He didn't even live with his long term GF. He didn't want kids, because God forbid that someone might come before him. He is really like a little boy...man-child! Video games and riding his motorcycle are more important than anything else. Hanging with his buddies and talking about comic books. Even taking care of a hamster was and is too much responsibility for him.
Arrrggghh....just venting. Why would I want to be with him??? I keep asking myself that!
Last edited by Di-mond; 11/11/1502:14 AM.
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
