H has started an affair 2

[Sotto]

Funnily enough I just posted about still feeling somewhat attached in my own thread (in MLC.) I think time and GAL are big factors. I also think that often the awful things that WAS do and the associated pain forces some detachment too. You realise that you cannot stay attached 'to that' and self-preservation kicks in.

Good for you with the new people and places. I would certainly carry on with that. I also confronted some of my own (similar) fears. I have a policy of 'accept all invites' now and I'm more upfront about inviting others to do things too - I'm putting myself 'in the arena' more (have you read Brene Brown or seen her TED talks?)

TBH, I think stuff like you describe above is what it is all about and I think the progress you make there will serve you well your whole life. Whatever your H may be doing. I do understand still feeling love for your H. But I think the nature of that love has to change in our sitches. For me, loving my H has become different to 'being with' him. The love doesn't really have conditions - but the being with him does. And that is important I think.

You're doing really well Anna....remember, it is still early days and plenty of time and progress to make xx