Sotto, you are right about doing things for me, not to manupilate/punish H. It shows how much I still think about things with H in the center, not myself. I try hard to detach, but it is so difficult. Despite all the wrongdoing, I still hoplessly love H. Why? I don't know. One moment I feel like I can concentrate on myself & kids, but other moments I just slip off the course. How did you learn to detach?
I am meeting new people and going to new places with/without kids. I realized there are a lot of things I/kids were missing out because of my fear/uncomfortableness. I am still in the process, but I am slowly getting out of my comfort zone.
