Maybell XXXVII: Unpacking

[Maybell]

No. I live in a relatively small town and I keep hearing about her antics. Last week a supposed friend came to apologize to me for not coming to an event I hosted -- she said she "felt conflicted" because she was friends with both the GF and me. I hear about the party and the same source said that the high school parents the GF is associated with are talking about how she and her husband are "having problems."

This stuff is all openly discussed in the community. My kids spent Saturday before the party with her and her kids having been told by their dad that she's his girlfriend. I have always been concerned about his drinking and worried about navigating alcohol when the kids are teens because he said when D12 was a baby that he was in favor of serving alcohol at high school parties as long as the kids turned in their keys because that was what his parents did when he was in high school.

If a parent is willing to serve a teen alcohol (and my source clearly did not have advance knowledge that this would be the case), at what age do they draw the line? 16? 14? My 12 yo is very mature looking -- she could easily pass for 15-16. A parent who is willing to serve minors doesn't card, does she? Nor is she responsible enough to know when she's impaired herself. So where does she draw the line?

I don't want my kids spending time with Mr. Fantastic when he's with his GF for a lot of reasons. I think it hurts my S9 to see his dad with another partner. S7 has complained that he doesn't get to spend enough time with his dad. How much worse will it be if he has to share him with a GF all the time? I worry about the messages my D12 is getting about commitment, about respect, about alcohol use, about sex. I don't feel like the situation is bad enough to warrant getting the law involved (yet), but it's clearly terrible. People who know the GF know and refer to her as a woman who is married to her husband. D12 was friends with her son before Mr. Fantastic even moved out of the house -- what message does it send that he (the kid) is living with his married parents but being taken on outings with his mother's "boyfriend" and her kids?

I am not sure what I'm looking for here except maybe a place to vent my shock and disappointment that Mr. Fantastic really is That Guy and that he has decided to embrace being That Guy whole hog. I worry a lot about my kids and hope that I am the parent they need to come out healthier than he is.