Thought I might list my 180s, and write a few words about them. Hoping it might do me good.
My first one is living my life entirely for myself.
I would like to change the emphasis in my life, from supporting my H (and also supporting him in his career, which has been a huge burden) to just living for myself.
I realise I've done so much for him in the time we've been married, from small everyday things to massive things. Now, because he has left, I'm not doing them any more. I'm not reminding him to sign contracts or helping him send invoices, I'm not helping him with his work or work situations. There were lots and lots of things he couldn't be bothered doing, or found difficult. I've just stopped everything for him, dead.
It's still a bit strange at the moment. But it's easy to run my own life. I'm very organised, and I like keeping on top of things. That makes me feel good.
Ploughing on.
Here's another one of my 180s I'm doing for myself.
No contact. In the past, it's always been me to call and text. Not any more.
The last time I texted was on the 23 October to apologise for missing his three calls on our anniversary.
I haven't even replied to the text he sent a couple of days later saying he couldn't see clearly how to continue, he hadn't managed to 'fall in love' with me again these past two years, and thought it would be best if we separated.
Am I going to answer his calls in future? It depends on what I'm doing and how I'm feeling at that particular point. If I'm busy, then no. If I'm not feeling up to talking to him, then no.
I think my preferred method of communication for the next while might be text. More time to think and reflect on what to say and how to react. I don't want to be pushed into reacting in the moment. Still time to think about that one though.
