Good to see you are taking small steps to get healthier. To be honest you really need to go to the gim at least 3 times a week and the rest of the week try and do some cardio activities. You need to workout with weights in order to strengthen muscles and bones as past a certain age you begin to lose muscle mass. You also need to work on cardio to burn off fat and gain stamina. Eating healthy is great, everything helps but you need to get your body into shape.
Something about working out gives you more confidence in yourself, going to the gim helps disconnect and helps you achieve goals. it gives you a stronger mental strength.
Growing stronger physically and mentally will help you greatly and will also be more attractive for women.
You need a balanced diet and I recommend taking some vitamins and stuff at the beginning to help your body cope with the extra stress.
WHEN you go to the gim, needless to say stick to the programme the trainer will set up and do not overkill at the beginning. Your body needs to get used to the work and you need to overcome the initial period where there will be more pain than gain. If you overcome this hill you will start to see progress.
One of the advantages of setting up a routine and keeping it is you learn discipline. One of the qualities you sometimes seem to be lacking.
Switching over to the abuse... To be honest I am often surprised by the stuff you pull out of the hat. From places where no one seems to have seen it coming. I remember Sandi mentioning this, everytime we seem to get to a point where the road is clear and ready for you to start you come up with something. Result is we then start another discussion on that topic. I just wonder what will be next.
For my 2 cents worth I dont believe you are an abuser, serial or not. I also think you dont believe it neither. I really think she is confusing abusive behaviour with manipulative behaviour and that I can associate with you. To abuse you need a particular quality that I do not see in you G.
Concerning the book thing underlined I find it intriguing and more to it than just a W marking some passages. There is something more to this. The fact she is with you still imho defends more the manipulation idea than the abuse one. She does not see you as a threat otherwise I think she would have walked. Unfortunately some women get really abused and still stay because they are in denial, totally afraid of their H or cant see any other way out. Your wife doesnt look like falling into any of these categories.
Switching again. I still see you have not GAL nor detached and still seem to not know how to. You choose the easy way out. Sliding and then admitting to it and repeating the same old lines of moving forward, needing to change, make a better ghost, etc. Some time ago I mentioned if your W looked at you before BD and now what change would she see? Be it physical or emotional.
You seem to have stepped up as a father, great. What have you improved as a man or possible future husband (2.0). What have you improved on Ghost?
I am happy that you are getting really great advice here, I just wish you would act on it a little more.
Your W needs to respect you and right now I feel she does not. I also think she is acting immaturely and is also lost. She does not come across as someone who has her act together. If I didnt know better I would say that both of you are acting childlishly. You for not manning up and taking the reigns of your life but whimpering how hard you are trying to do nothing and she for abusing the power you gave to provoke you.
TBH I sense more respect from Huddys W towards him than your W towards you. The moment you flip, act how people are telling you to without excuses or twists and learn from those who are advancing the better off you will be.
I think your situation now is just about action. I also think you are wasting valuable time trying to do things you never do and talking about things you never will.
