Working on improving Ghost

[ATPeace]

Hi pigpen

Eating much better switched to brown bread over the White
Having chicken sandwiches and have started to add a little salad to the sandwich not a great salad lover

I think what I need to is keep a food journal

I have cut right back in the fizzy drinks and have been drinking more water

Not sure if I am going the making the two stone marker by Christmas this was probably an unrealistic goal but will work in the one stone

Been struggling to get to the gym with work I feel this is a poor excuse as I am still giving way too much attention to my W

Living in the same house i see her every day and this makes detach almost impossible

I am have choices I am going to stop doing the things that hurt me.

I still want to try to reason with her I have said I want to have a chat with you I wanted to chat last night tried to speak to her as to why she feels the way she does about me being abusive but she would not I have suggested if we can chat on Thursday or Friday when the kids are out the house .

THERE IS NOTHING TO CHAT ABOUT SHE HAS MADE UP HER MIND I AM GOING TO END UP SAYING ALL THE SAME THINGS USING DIFFERENT WORDS IN A DIFFENTENT ORDER TO TRY AND RESON WITH HER .....AND SHE WILL GIVE ME ALL THE SAME ANSWERS THAT I HAVE BEEN GETTING FOR THE PAST FIVE MONTHS....she said to me that reading the book opened her eyes and she has been living a lie

If she really feels this way I am not going to be able to convince her that she is wrong and I should not have to try and convince her ....she has to want to without me trying to change her mind

I said to her I think we should go to mediation and she said ok if you are ready to sell the house she knows I do not what this but perhaps it has to be the next stage.

A part of the grieving process I will feel upset possibly anger scared

I don't want this bit I have no choice
Change is not always bad
I will be alright with our without my W
I can get through this I will be ok

I know I really have not made very much progress over the past five months today I choose to take the first of many small steps

Ghost