Answer to: "why didn't you hear it from ME?"

[Flight]

We discussed the separation agreement today and talked about selling the house. She seems to think I am only thinking of myself again by suggesting we sell the house and put our daughter through joint custody. She was wanting to sell the idea of staying in the same house, but being able to have "separate lives" (aka I get to see my OM!). Funny how it gets twisted that *I* am the selfish one instead of making a reasonable boundary.

How is two parents living together and going out on separate dates a good example of what a relationship should be like for our D? Seems a lot like swinging or an open relationship! (except for the part where I at least get to have sex with my W ;))

This is a key crossroads as to how I handle this. Not sure to just keep working the plan to try and rebuild the connection while GAL, etc, or to say, "No, it is time to sign the papers and put the house up for sale". Let's really see what divorce is going to be.

I used the rest of our talk to really find out about one of her beliefs. She shared a lot about her feelings of the love she wanted and I validated her feelings and worked on the spiritual, deep core belief part of our connection. It was a good talk and an example of "what's working". Yet I can't help but wonder if my own bomb drop is the answer. I would have to be willing to actually face that path though, not just do it to try and get a certain outcome. Basically throw in the towel and move on to get my own life, put her behind me, and not look for her to change her mind, but be open to stop the process if she did.