Keeping the door cracked

[Jpeg]

Becky have a great time. I had a sisters weekend last weekend, we laughed so hard it was a good ab workout. Even though I was exhausted when I got home I felt safe and relaxed the whole time we were together. Enjoy!

[Rouky]

That's a good question Beckyb as I'm in the same situation as yours and I don't see how H could miss me or his kids when he's with OW and her kids.

We can only move forward and think that the good days are ahead of us :-)

[gonegrl]

Becky, but isn't OW supposedly dying from some illness? I don't think H is planning a life with her, I think he wants to be her "knight in shining armor" and he isn't really thinking long term here. OW is really needy and he likes feeling like a hero, and this is all a big dramatic distraction and a huge ego boost. Not real love. Ego.

My two cents. He is in for a very big fall no matter what happens- if OW gets really sick, well, that's no fun. If she dies, then he is all alone, and if she miraculously gets better, well, then he is stuck with someone who is no longer in need of a rescuer.

I hope you have the best of times with your sisters!

[beckyb]

Sisters and I laughed, shopped ate and drank. It was good. Now to unpack and get ready for the week. I definitely need to refocus on my goals.

Thanks for the continued encouragement. I need to remember that H is really broken right now. I need to focus on me. The rest is in God's hands.

[dday]

Glad you had fun. And you are right. Focus on yourself and have faith that God can help your H.

Wishing you the best

[beckyb]

How can I use this as a DB opportunity?

H wants to come over on Wednesday and the weekend to pack up stuff in his workshop. I told him I would leave the basement door unlocked Wednesday and Sunday. I am working Wednesday but planned to be home Sunday afternoon to get the garage organized. However, I think I'll leave. It just upsets me so much to be around him.

H has not send in positive signals in 3 weeks. Thoughts?

How am I going to survive all the contact I have to have with him to get our lives sorted out?

I don't know how you all survive living with someone in an A. I could not do it for a lot of reasons.

[gonegrl]

I would leave and avoid him completely. Why put yourself through the pain of having to interact with him. I am sorry Becky.

[beckyb]

Mostly just journaling...

I am feeling so emotional and weepy. I'm very lonely and sad. I'm tired of GAL. I just want to sleep - if only I could sleep an entire night.

Maybe now that things have calmed down the reality of my situation is hitting me harder. Also, a lot of my support system has gone on with their lives, which is fine. They don't quite understand that my life is still in shambles.
Knowing that H will be in the house tomorrow and Sunday packing stuff is making me extra emotionally. It's also messing with my Sunday plans but this needs to be done.

I do not want to be alone. I just hate the thought.
I'm feeling frantic about the future. Where I should live? Should I buy a house or a condo? or rent? What if I lose my job? Ugh. I trust God and I will be ok. Sometimes the thoughts just overwhelm.

I need to get back to journaling and walking. Instead I'm easting candy bars. Very bad. I wish now I had joined the local Divorce Care group. I'll have to wait until January now.

Also waiting to see what happens when his L gets my proposal about selling the house. Too much hanging in the balance. I don't like it.

[beckyb]

H is finally moving some stuff out of the basement and acknowledging that he has to be involved in the sale of the house. On one hand it makes me sad because it feels like we are really moving on. On the other hand I'm glad because I really need to get out of that house.

Many steps to go and I have no idea how he will respond to my proposal about splitting profit and expenses.

[Rouky]

Well if it's like my H he won't appreciate it but you have to look after yourself Beckyb as you are the MOST important person at the moment. I'd say (I know easier said than done), think about splitting house sale as a business transaction! Wouldn't you try to get the best deal for you?