Been reading DR cover to cover. Definitely very helpful.
Have not heard my wife since her few texts last week. I still consider it a big deal since it was the first time she had contacted me on her own in 3.5 months. I look at it as a step, but I do not get overly excited about it. I didn't even care that much which was unbelievable to me.
Actually, I have been thinking a lot about my next move here. Here is the problem that I am having a hard time with. If I play my cards right, do I think there would be another shot? I do. I have been through this before. But, let's just say it does work out and we end up back together. How does that work? After going through this a few times, how could I possibly be comfortable in that relationship? I can't be walking on wife-shells all the time wondering if this is the day I wake up and it is over again. She has decided more than once that I am not right for her. She has been able to see what is out there off and on for the past 16 years while I just sat by waiting for her. I missed a lot of opportunities to get to know other women, maybe I missed the right one. My eyes have been opened and I see that there is a lot out there.
There would be so much work that needs to be done to make our new marriage special. I do not know if either of us have it in us. I think it could be done, but it would be hard.
I keep telling myself wait until the new year, and then re-evaluate. As I think about it, my mind is constantly flipping, but right now I feel like it might be best to let this go. Short marriage (but long history), no children... I would hate to be in this same exact spot again in another 3 years maybe with a child then.
