Please just take this as a view from reading your post, things may be completely different in person or how it went down, but it seems you are being a little harsh or maybe rude...
Im not sure, I know you are stating your boundaries but sometimes it seems that you are trying to show control over her...I iknow it is difficult knowing what to do but maybe you could have asked for a moment to talk after she kept interrupting you and told her that you really get frustrated when she does that and you want to be able to communicate calmly with her, and then go on to answer her questions.
I have a feeling that when you clam up or walk away and not finish a conversation probably makes her feel worse towards you. There are ways of diffusing a situation at the time, given it has not gone overboard then walking away is probably right.
Again, just another way of looking at this and i may be completely off base. I wish i had all the answers as well.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
otw, thank you for the feedback. It may sound a little harsh but I was very calm and soft spoken. Also, she is very harsh and hardened WW. I know she doesn't like it when I clam up or walk away but should I allow her to continue to make demands of me while being disrespectful or not respecting my boundaries? I don't feel I should. I guess it could feel to her like I'm trying to control her. If I understand things correctly I'm not supposed to worry about what she is thinking or doing. What I am supposed to do is create boundaries for myself. Create the type of interactions I'm willing to participate in. I have stated to her dozens of times how interrupting makes me feel. If I allow her to interrupt me and I give in to her demands am I not being firm and confident man? I believe I would continue to show her she can bully me, disrespect me, and still get whatever she wants.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Believe me I agree with you. I was just giving you another view. As I said I am not sure how everything went down but if she is being the way you say then yes walking away is right.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Well.....just received another apology from my wife. That's 4 in the last couple weeks. For most people I would think an apology is expected and should be common place when you hurt someone's feelings or do something wrong but For those that haven't read all the way through my sitch this is unusual. I had not received an apology from her in at least 15 months. Through out our whole M she rarely apologized for anything and on some of the occasions when she did it would come with sarcastic tones and a "but" half way through. i.e. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you did ______________ to me."
Not really an apology in my book.
Her text "I'm sorry I interrupted you this a.m. Do you ever think about when we've been happy?"
She's temp checking. Not sure how to respond?
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
I haven't had a good cry in several weeks. The meds help .......tears are flowing right now. Good thing I work in a office by myself most of the day.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
I think it is a positive and you need to be very careful how you respond. I would respond though. why don't you put a response on here first and get some input.
I think you should be honest but also not look like you are pursuing or expecting a change from her with your answer something about "yes, often and I hope to be happy like that again one day soon" I don't know that might sound to needy or show you are hurting too much
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Thanks otw, I planned to respond but like you said very carefully.
I was thinking a simple "yes"
But I guess the truth is I'm not sure I ever was truly happy. I always felt I was walking on eggshells around her. She has often said she was just trying to connect with me and would ask intimate details about my past. I would open up and share something vulnerable and not too long after she would use that information to hurt me. I've never felt I could really trust her with my heart.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
The way she is? No. But I also don't want me the way I was either. I want who I know she can be and who she has said she wants to be. I want a very healthy M. I know it's a journey and will take a significant amount of time and work but I also know it's worth it.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
that is a very insightful response. I know there had to be glimpse of that person you want and also of who you want to be in your marriage and it made you happy.
I would respond yes think about those times. if it goes further from there I think you use a version of what you just responded to me.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
