I agree with most of what the other posters said so far also. As for dropping the kids off after church, I see nothing wrong with that. Again, pick your battles with things. Having her drive 90 mins so you don't have to drive 5, even if it is her responsibility, starts a cycle of reactions that neither of you will like. As for the separation agreement, it [censored] but you do agree to if. Your choice is go deal with it or push the divorce further. You can't force a reconciliation so get that out of your mind.

I understand wanting her to see the consequences of her actions and feeling she can actually lose you but by having a "talk" with her about working on things your showing her and yourself that she isn't loosing you and can continue doing whatever she wants(we have no idea her motives so best not to speculate what that may be).

Pulling back and being less available is good, just don't go so far you start being an ass about small stuff.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be