Moving Forward

[EMMess]

Hi Mutatio,

Thank you so much for taking your time to share this. You trying your hardest to DB or to move forward?

I find myself in a situation in which my wife, has told me repeatedly she is "done" and has moved on, no in the form of physical intimacy but in the fact that she is done putting me above herself. We are leaving separately now, and only speak when we have to. Our relationship has deteriorated from H and W, to friendship, to now just co-parents. Of course, this is all disheartening. Then add the element of OM, who has her attention now, and I am beginning to question whether this is salvageable. Mostly, because she has been very selfish, and self-involved, has no respect for me and the children. The selfishness is something that has been present always, but just not to this extent, I guess because she respected me before, now she can care less. So I question, whether this is the person I would want to be with?

I still love my wife, and would love to see this workout. I am just tired of hurting and making myself so vulnerable. As well, as feeling like I am not in control of my own life. I have these feelings of comparing myself to OM, and have raised her so high in a pedestal, as if she was the only woman for me. The reason I work on forgiving, letting go, surrendering, and letting God is because I do have hope that we can be together.

At this point I am beginning to feel that it is a lot more important for me to reclaim myself, to value my self-respect, and self-worth. My worth is not defined by my wife, but right now, I feel I have made her my emotional center. How do we give up so much power to someone else? At the cost of ourselves. I am now beginning to build faith on the fact that God and the Universe has something in stored for me that would be better. I hope that is a new relationship with my wife (one who is willing to work on us as well as herself).