Az, thanks for the reply. What I and the boys want obviously doesn't matter to W. Dropping the boys off after church was only an extra 5 minutes from my rental, but saved her 1.5 hours driving. We are supposed to do the kid swap there. It doesnt necessarily matter whats best for you. You could have made plans after church in the other direction. Its still an hour and a half worth of driving that you did for her.
I felt like W was reconsidering, due to some of her actions. Opening up to me, sitting with me (after we had the talk of only sit with me if we are working on us). Yes, I guess I have hope up until it's final. Understandable. But you were still proceeding with all kinds of expectations. And hen one wasnt met, it put you into a tailspin.
Money: I pay support and half the mortgage, until D is final. Then, no more mortgage and she has to buy me out. Well, then this is what you agreed to? Not much you can do except force the D through then, right? Why did you agree to that?
Kids: I would do anything for them that I can. Easy to manipulate me there. How long is it ok to lead them on? I hear it every time I see them and they have told me that the don't talk to W about it. I have seen why, she blows them off. Look, theres a difference between doing things for the kids and doing things "for the kids". The kid needs to go to the doctor's or ants to go to some special thing, fine. You do it. If it's to go out for dinner or to watch them for a couple hours, then it's time to stay out of it. Look, Id like to have my kids as much as possible. But if it comes to taking them for mundane activities to help my wife or doing some sweet GAL thing for me, Im taking my own time. And I dont think thats selfish in the slightest.
Holidays: we are supposed to split them, somehow. If we can't agree it goes by some child support guideline book that is an inch thick. Better figure it out! Otherwise, youre going to without. Why dont you be proactive and propose something?
I have set some plans. I am designing a house to build. I have been looking at newer vehicles. I want to spend time with someone who enjoys being with me and I have fun with. W or someone new.
To me, once it is over... it's over. I have tried to make her happy from BD to S. Then from S to her filing, I was trying to work on myself, but not living for myself at all. Since I have gotten my own place, I have been gal. I have a few plans made with family and friends coming up.
If she is done, why not just be done. Why would she do that?
Why lead me on. What if she realizes that she DOESNT want to be alone but youve found something else?
Why lead the kids on. I'm enabling her, I am afraid. She hasn't really faced any kind of consequences. I have. Kids do. Not her, she's sitting pretty with everything we had built together, and I'm not in the picture. Literally now. Heres a question Ive seen asked many times.
Does your wife have ANY fear of losing you?
So, what are my options. Suck it up and let her keep doing this. Ask her on a date. Pull back, way back. Ask if this is what she still wants. ? What is the downside to pulling back?
