Ok, I have a real urge to do something.
Like....WHAT....exactly?

I am tired of this sitch.
Fair.

I am tired of being lonely.
Also fair. Whats your alternative?

I am tired of letting her have her way all the time.
Why are you letting her have her way? She asked you to spend an hour and a half driving. Why did you agree to it? Honestly. Why?

I am tired of her asking me to do things for the boys, knowing full well that I won't deny them anything if I can help it.
Really? I cant imagine THIS is why you agreed to drive them to her place after church...

I have a feeling of being used. For money. For someone to talk to.
Yeah. I imagine you are. A WW is going to use every trick possible to get what she wants from the LBH.

For someone to help her out when she gets into a scheduling conflict. I am still paying half the mortgage.
So, what kind of schedule have you guys agreed to? Is there something in writing? How often do you accommodate her?How often do you tell her you cant do something?


Here I am, thinking we are working towards something better.
This. This right here. Read this again.

You (dday) thought she (dday's W) was working on your M.

Has she EVER indicated anything to suggest she is thinking of you as anything more than a person to turn to when she needs something?


Then I see today that our family pics are gone. S6 tried to open up to W and she ignores him. S6 has told me that he opens up to me, and not W. She asked about his bday party, just to see if I would help her out with driving and money. Who is this person that looks like my W? Ignoring her own kids now?
Do you think it would be better to say "I dont love your dad anymore. We are splitting."? Lets assume she ISNT sure what she wants. What exactly do you think would be best?

I was just informed by my landlord (small town) that my W coworkers are talking about how self absorbed she has become, and how she is planning on her parents to help her financially.
Sounds about right...

Then she sends a text asking if I have thought about Thanksgiving. I won't see s6 on his bday, due to it being her day. Thanksgiving is mine, and I am sure she wants it.
Again, whats the schedule? Are you going to give her Christmas too?

I have had enough, I guess that's what I am getting at. I want to ask when this will be final. I don't want to keep doing this. (I know detach, I have some...not enough)
Its not really about detaching, necessarily.
What DO you want? What is your plan to get it?

Lets say your goal is to buy a car. You know its likely going to take 18 months to save up enough money given your cash flow. On day 71, your air conditioner breaks, so you have to spend "car" money to fix it. Then on day 96, you need a new refrigerator. Based on this, do you blow all of the money youve already saved?

I have spent the last 10 months trying to fix us. I have made improvements, in every aspect that I can think of. I think we are improving, and it turns out to be crumbs.
Right. Expectations.......

Tired of wasting my time and energy. I want a relationship with someone who values me.
Your W does not value you as a H right now.
Do you want to be with her?

I don't want my kids to go through the holidays like this.
You can SAY it's the kids all you want. Im not buying it. YOU dont want to go through the holidays like this.

I know that there is nothing I can do, it's all on her. But, I am ready to sit down and have a heart to heart with her.
OK. To say what? If you say divorce or get back together, I dont think youre going to like the result...

She needs to quit leading the kids and myself on, if she still wants D. it has been past the 60 day waiting period, and still no court date. I will not be her supplemental income to get her through the winter heat bills.
So how do you separate the financials? You shouldnt be paying for her lifestyle if you arent in her life.

If we aren't working on us, I want set free. I want the band aid ripped off, so I can really heal.
It isnt HER thats keeping it on. It's YOU. SHE FILED FOR DIVORCE. How is that NOT ripping off the bandaid?

I am out of patience. If this is truly what she wants, let's get it over with.
Is it what you want?

I am ready to start rebuilding my life. One way or the other. I have told myself that I won't date until it's final.
What does "rebuilding your life" have to do with dating?

I don't think W is going to realize and feel the loss until D is final. I will still feel in limbo until then also. Today, I want to drop the rope.
Are you equating the legal status change to "divorced" with dropping the rope?What wiull be different once that change is made? How does it free you from your emotional bonds?

I am tired of this. Ready to close this chapter and see what the next will bring
So start writing.......