less confused newbie (7)

[dday]

I know the state of limbo that in feel I am in. I can only imagine what my boys are going through. They ask me constantly about coming home, and tell me that they don't talk to her about it at all.

If the holidays don't make her wake up to what she has done, and she ignores the boys when they try and talk to her, then I have little to be hopeful for. Seeing her erase me from the famiky pics bothers me. The pics of me and my sis on the fridge were gone too. I'm still paying the mortgage, yet to her I am not part of the family.

It's going to be very hard to not have a talk, and I am not sure that I will resist it. We all need some sort of resolution here. So, I think I will have to talk to her. I meet with my friend the priest/counselor tomorrow. See what he thinks too. Maybe he can help me figure out how to say things, that will be less harmful.

I feel that I am losing my self respect by not saying anything about what she is doing to us all. I have let her off the hook for far too long with the boys. If this is what she still wants, then it's time she owned it with them. I feel that I have done a lot over the last year to try and save my M and keep my family together. It's on her now.