Sotto sotto voce

[Sotto]

Thanks RD - I wouldn't say it was grim. Everyone was so welcoming and it was a really supportive environment. What it did illustrate was how hard it can be to process the end of a relationship and the impact that can have on your life even years later. So, I guess there is a lesson for me in this. My take on it is that the door remains open for me just a little - although my H shows no signs of wanting to peek through it - equally we may well D and I hope to recover well from that. So, I'm hoping with that perspective, the workshop will be useful.

Not posted much recently, but life has been busy. Lots going on at work and it was my birthday this week too. I had a nice day - meal out with a friend and opened some presents with my parents. Received many cards and birthday wishes from people. I didn't hear from H at all, and it didn't spoil my day - but I do feel a little sad about that. That's two years worth of anniversaries and my birthday that he hasn't acknowledged.

I do try and keep the focus off of him and onto me and that does help. Equally all that I have read about MLC helps - with the familiar progression, trajectory and stages. But, in my doubting moments it is hard to see that H would ever come back from this. Though I can also see the brokenness of OW, with her history of prior infidelity and so on....it is hard to see how that R could 'work.' But I fear it may - or at least may until I have truly moved on. I'm not sure I have it in me to be a stander for years and years. Maybe if we had children together or had been together longer?

Anyway, this post sounds a little wistful. Believe me I am full of plans and forging ahead. I made two new 'playdates' for December this weekend. My fun and daft friend is coming over later to take me for a late birthday afternoon tea. Another friend and I are also hoping to get our yoga weekend booked....so my life is not standing still and includes many happy elements.

RD, you asked about nice guy at work. TBH, I haven't seen that much of him lately - schedules not coinciding. He hasn't said anything since that little 'maybe I'll look you up' (next time he's in my area) comment. I'm just being friendly and having a little banter. I sense he is still in a bit of a raw state post divorce....and TBH, I don't see myself as 'datable' just now, given all circumstances. But all new friends are welcome and who knows in the longer term??

Anyway - thanks to anyone who may read this - your companionship and encouragement through this time in my life mean a lot to me. Have a great Sunday all xxx