A new thread for Eye-Tie

[EyeTie]

Fogg, thank you buddy for posting. I know our journey's started around the same time and I like keeping up on your situation.

I initially started dating way too soon. It wasn't for me so I backed off and would go out casually with a few different girls. Everyone of them know my situation, most agreed that I was still a mess and I was, lol. You will know when you are ready.

My biggest issue honestly was hitting that point. Not so much giving up, but realizing that it was over and even if we put it back together, we never would have been the same. Accepting my new future without her and going from there.

I know a lot of people hate their exes, they are bitter and angry about it all. Frankly, I am not there. I refuse to allow that to happen. Simply because it would show an emotional investment in her or our marriage. Sure I do get angry at her about things, but not our failed marriage.

Getting sick really put things in perspective to me. I realized the way I was living wasn't exactly making me happy and I am sad that I wasted all of those years doing so. Instead I focused on the future. I prayed over and over for God to give me the strength to survive and heal, it happened. I live my life for my kids. I live my life for myself. I live my life.

This all can be a hard dose of reality, the best thing I can suggest (other than GALing) is self reflection and reading the books. You will learn a lot about life and yourself by doing so. As I said, getting different results means doing different actions.

I treat J much like I once treated my wife. I love cooking, so I cook for her and her daughter quite often. I send flowers to her just because. I slip notes or cards in her purse/car. All of the things my wife told me she loved about me, but for someone else who has never experienced it. At least twice a week J tells me I am amazing, it's a huge ego stroke. And frankly, I am happy. Happy for the first time in a very long time. Almost content...almost...

It still is hard at times though, honestly. Being a single parent is tough. Often I find myself stressed and doubting that I can do it. But all it takes is one giant hug from my daughter, one "Alright Dad!" from my son, one goodnight kiss from them and it's all worth it. My life is theirs and I am happy with that.