So conflicted. Seperated from my wife.

[Enigma]

Amel, this was a hard line for me to balance as well.

My view is you need to take stock of what your W complaints were during M and work on improving yourself around those. I wouldn't worry about what OM is filling outside of your W complaints against you, or these thoughts will eat you alive. Just focus on working on you and making changes for you. And yes, no need to press further about the A.

Considering your W is wayward, none of what she does will make any sense. As others are saying here, she gets the best of both worlds (plenty of cake eating). She has fired you as her H and it sounds as though just hoping to maintain friendship and nothing more. Is this what you want? Or do you want to be her H? Sorry to be blunt here. I also feel respect is key in order for her to regain her attraction to you as H as Azz mentioned. What do you think would re-attract her to you? What attracted her to you originally?

Again I completely relate. With a WW, I personally have realized the importance of respect more for myself than anything. I have backed off entirely as my WW continues her deep relationship with OM, and continue to focus on myself and S2. This is what has helped me detach personally, but as your S is different and you know it better than anyone, you need to find that ground that aligns with your goals.

In the end, I would say to review what your goals are (as specific, measurable, and time based) and look for anything that moves you toward or away as you evaluate.

Stay strong as this is tough. You have great support here.