Hello everyone. I do not know where to start, and I hope this all makes sense.
I am active duty in the Navy. I have served for 15 years and have loved every second of it.
Here goes. My wife and I have been separated for 15 months now. I came home from a 2 month underway and that day, July 28, 2014, 2 days after our 11th anniversary, she told me she wanted a divorce. Events that lead up to this, I emotionally cheated several times. We were separated in 2009 for 8 months. At the time she had a boyfriend and I messed around with her best friend to find out information about what she was doing. She was a terrible person at the time, doing drugs, drinking all of the time, and pretty much abandoned our daughters. Well, we ended up reconciling, and things were good. I emotionally cheated again, and she found out again. The icing on the cake was when she found out I slept with her best friend. She said she understands why I did it, and although she is hurt that I slept with another woman, she can not get over the fact that I let her still be friend with her knowing what happened between us.
The first few months of separation were hard, I fell into deep depression. She started dating almost instantly, and I moved out, I could not stand thought of watching her leave to go date other men. I watched her leave several times, never long, enough time to do dinner and then she would be home. It became to much and I was at my emotional edge.
I got in contact with a girl I was with many years ago. Sparks flew, and we are together, still today. I was happy in the relationship with her, but now, more and more al I can think about is my wife.
In November of that year, I left on deployment. A few weeks after that she had the guy she was dating pretty much move into our house. We emailed a few times while I was gone, but it was all strictly platonic. We try to maintain a healthy relationship for our daughters. After I got back from deployment, my wife and I hooked up a few times. Having sex on several occasions, and stopping short of sex on others. She tells me that she is still on love with me, but she is also in love with her boyfriend. He has cheated on her several times and each time she comes to me crying about it. It tears me apart to see her like that. Each time she says she does not know how to leave him. She sees the good in him and wants to help him get there. She says she is happier than she has been in years with him.
I do not know what to do. WE are both in new relationships but I do not want to lose my wife. The divorce papers are with the courts, so we are just waiting now. I have read the books, but what can I do to save this? I know I need to break up with my current girlfriend, and I am more than willing to do that for my wife. My wife knows where I stand on our marriage. Sometime she is very nice, very flirty, and other times just down right mean. Any advice? Do you think there is still a shot or is this too far gone? I have never given up hope, but I feel like I push her away because I tell her how much I still love her and want her and our family.
