I vow to be nothing more than pleasant should H suddenly start being charming. I will leave his company ASAP, and start posting here instead of being sucked in by him being nice for a change.
Ancaire, I can totally understand how tough it is to get sucked into charm for someone whom you've been married to for 20 years. I think your approach of pleasantry around H and (the more difficult) of not letting his reactions to your positive approach reach your core and drive reactions and emotions out of you is a step in the right direction.
One book that I've recently read is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. I would recommend this as a good read as there is good advice within. Overall, I'd say you are on a good path forward anyways so at least this would reinforce the focus on you through this all.
And yes, this forum is certainly a salvation where we can vent, pour our emotions as we need to, and have comfort in the support on this very board which can pick us up from our low points.
Baby steps... one foot in front of the other... I know you will get through this.
M: 33 W: 30 T: 14 M: 9 S2 BD: May/2015 (w moves into spare bedroom one week later) EA / PA (discovered): June/2015 W moves out (living with OM): Sep/2015
