Holy crap. I walk out of this thread for a couple days, and now Ghost is beating and raping his wife?
Ghost, why are you believing everything that she tells you? If she said, "Ghost, I can believe you never ran headfirst into a cement wall for me. All of the best husbands do that." I truly think you would do it right now.
I wish that you could take a step back and for a week or two weeks, just do nothing and exist. Just have a couple of minor goals - a little bit of GAL, a fun thing with your kids, go to the gym. Just get into a small routine and try to build your life back up slowly. I read the desperation and the anxiety in your posts, and I can feel the toll it's taking on you. You HAVE GOT to learn to control your thoughts, control your actions, control your emotions. And to do that, you need to become CALM.
Just back off from all of the stuff with your W and live your life for a bit.
