Sandi2, I have to respectfully disagree with your opinion here.
My dad is generally very mild mannered in public, but when I was a kid he could get so angry. He would yell aggressively, belittle my mom, curse, etc. It was scary. It was emotionally abusive.
Making someone feel emotionally unsafe is abusive. Each of the behaviors, on its own, maybe not. But together, it is possible that his wife felt unsafe.
Ghost, I'm glad you are looking inward to your own behavior. i think nmmng would be a good read for you. It also sounds like maybe you need some work on anger management? Finally, we know that you have trouble listening and hearing. Perhaps that is something you struggle with IRL too.
