Working on improving Ghost

[ATPeace]

Sandi2 I have been to counselling sessions to try the understand where I were I went wrong perhaps I need some more I will look into this

One thing that I feel is very important to mention is that my W as a child was abused by her stepmum to what exact extent I do not fully know I know she was hit and pushed down stairs she was verbally abused and when I met her she was just 15 we started hanging out in a group and then we got close together and by being with me I believe it helped to stop some of the abuse .....what I do know is she has got some strong emotional feelings from what happend to her as a child and she feels that she has gone from being abused as a child to me choosing her so I could continue this abuse ...this is totally untrue and not the case we loved each other quite simple.

One area where I know she feels betrayed is that I would pressure Her into making love I know there was an imbalance between how often I wanted to make love and how often she wanted to and I did nag her keep on about not having made love for a while and at times she would "give in" and say lets just have a quickie or we would do it and I would do my best to make sure she had an orgasam and I believed that even tho she at first did not want it that I had left her feeling happy ...now I realise I left her feeling used. I am sorry if this is too much information .

Now she sees this pressure as me coercing her and sexually assulting her many times during our marriage this is a section that I remember was underlined by her.

I have had clients who raped and sexually coerced their partners repeatedly over the course of the relationship but never once hit them. Sexual coercion or force in a relationship is abuse. studies indicate that those women who were raped by an intermet partner suffer deeper and longer lasting affects than those who are raped by strangers or non intermit acquaintances If you have experienced sexual assault or chronic sexual pressure in your relationship then call the abuse hotline or the rape hotline,even,if you don't feel the term rape applies to what your partner did.

So the above is something she marked out that I had done

Now I DID NOT force her onto the bed push her legs apart and force her into having sex with her saying no ...yes I did try to persuade her to do it more often I would reach over and caress her under the blanket she knew what I wanted ...and at times I did keep asking until she finally gave in but unless she had given me what I saw was the green light then we did not do it. But I did put pressure on her to make love or have sex and I should just have acceptied a No ...I just wanted to feel close to her.

This is one massive example on something that she feels was abuse