Working on improving Ghost

[ATPeace]

Thank you for your posts of support

I admit a lot of what I have felt has come from the fact that I found that she had been reading a book in the minds of controlling and abusive men

In this book she had underlined many statements but the issue I have is I cannot approach this with her easily if at all

She believes that I got her pregnant on purpose with our last child the fact was we were going through a stage of trying to get back together and we were both trying t do more for the other person I was doing m e arround the house and with the children and she was being much more sexual.

My W would rarely if ever initiate making love but during the run up to her getting pregnant with baby four there was a two or three week period where no words of a lie she would come onto me two or three times in a day we used condoms I was always very careful and sex and making love was normally very planned but one or two times in the grips of our passion we did it without a condom and I would pull out. Once I did come inside her and told her that I had she said it will be fine she was due to have her period within a day. She could have gone for the morning after pill but we both agreed that it would probably be ok ...she fell pregnant and is not one to have an abortion she would never do this .

There were many things that she had hi lighted and I cannot remember all of them but some included

Me sulking to get my own way
Interrupting her
Not listening to her point of view
Sarcasm towards her
Distorting what she said
I swore
I would play the victim
I would provoke guilt
During several arguments I would walk out the house in my mind to get some space and to cool down
I would get to close in arguments
Threat to leave (I do not think I ever did this )

Other things I can remember
I would not help a much as I could with the children's breakfast times often I would go of to work early or when I was at home sometimes I would sit in the office play computer games or chose not to help get the kids ready for school or I would play the games and more often than not would realise that the kids were then running late and then help rush about trying to get them ready at the last minute.

I will think of some other things and post again shortly

Please do not replay to this just yet there are some other i things I would like to add