Regardless, I have no where to go but move forward but I think that husband leaving is one of 2 things...
1. MLC. Husband was never abusive. His father did this at same age but did return to family. His career is not where he wanted it to be, and despite good jobs we just could not get ahead. His dad died a few years ago and he was having health issues. I was an emotional wreck due to mc and health issue. We were living in my families house so had lost any connection. (This is really big and I think the reason we will have no chance of reconciliation).
2. Our marriage really was as awful as he said. We bickered a lot. Had ups and downs regarding intimacy. Big down after kids. I had postpartum and was just awful torwards him. I was hypercritical and needy and resentful and never happy and he just got fed up. I blamed him for everything. Past few years I could see slow gradual change in him. He just gave up. I always felt mad because he slept late, was late to everything, and didn't spend as much time with us as I thought he should. I felt like he viewed and did. everything as an individual instead of as a family unit.
Regardless of which one, I see no chance anymore. it is no longer, I need space to think. It is, I don't want to work on reconciliation. Space was probably fun for him cause no responsibility. Just has to worry about job. He goes and comes as he pleases.
Why would any man want to be married? I feel hopeless about finding someone else. Who would want someone with children? Their own father didn't want this lifestyle. Why would someone else? I would love another shot at a relationship. I want a companion. Someone to connect with, but I feel like it will be so difficult.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
