OK, just my .02-you're thinking about gifts while she's looking at a new house that she can ONLY afford if you sell your house and give her (at least) half the profit I assume? A house that you DO NOT WANT to sell now? Don't sell the house. Tell her you don't want to sell the house now. What's the big deal? She'll be pissed? She's pissed any way. Do not sell that house if you don't want to. Please tell me I misread what you wrote and that's not even on the table now. Please. I'd tell her she can do what ever she wants to do, stay, leave, buy a houseboat, you don't care. You have no desire to sell YOUR house yet. That's it. When she starts yelling at you you can validate that she may feel frustration but don't validate that you are stopping her from fulfilling herself or whatever she hurls at you. BTW-what did you validate when she started crying that you thought she was stealing? Was it her feelings that she thinks you distrust her (ie I can see it hurts you thinking that I don't trust you or that must be difficult to feel) or did you validate her by denying you think she's stealing? I ask because she is frickin stealing. Sorry but I'm freaking out on you that you are trying to figure out how to change her mind as you simply allow her to dictate to you what you will do. Look dude, she's been planning this for months/years-she has a plan, and right now, you're kinda adhering to it. As you haven't been planning this, you have more balls in the air. Emotions/credit/finance/GAL etc. whereas she just needs you to sell the house so she can move on. There is nothing wrong with you saying that the BD was a wakeup call to you and that you realize that vise needed to grow and that you are your focus now. Her need to sell the house isn't even on the list. Then go to the gym. Unless, like I said, I read you wrong OR you really just want to sell the house.
