last night W took S6 to a cooking class. I was at home with my other S. Before she left she give me the list of my share of bills. She is going to be away for a couple of days so I thought I could just put it off till the next day and I would deposit the money myself. She comes home and demands the check now...it turns into a discussion again about money. I couldn't log in to the account and was angry was loosing my cool because my password wasn't working .
Anyway W logs in and let me look at the account . I have questions just like every time, and she feels like I am accusing her of stealing. She just wants me to write a check with no questions. I told her I wont do that, if I am writing a check then I am going to see where my money is going.
She got all teary eyed. I reassured her that I didn't think she was stealing. I validated her feeling on it.
She just doesn't see how her wanting a separation would cause me to be cautious with what ever she does. A bill wasn't paid in full and I asked about that, she said its going to be late. I told her that is not how I would do it. I would pay the bill. Then I said stuff about budgets instead of flying by the seat of our pants. She was not interested in a budget. she has stuff she wants to spend on and if a bill doesn't get paid right away too bad. Even with my money in a separate account I cant get bills paid. They are in her name, but still, she thinks she is entitled to this lifestyle with or with out money.
She won a contest for free house listing. She wants to list the house. She is on a mission now, she is looking at houses online and contacting agents.
I have been down this road with her before, once she starts there is no stopping it. she wants her share of the equity out of the house. She can see that with out the equity she has no money to move out. No money to pay a L.
If she as much effort into saving the MR we would be better off. Winning the free listing has put this in overdrive. Even before a separation agreement. Before telling the kids.
This is where I stand. You don't list a house until you know you can buy another one. You need to get preapproved for buying another one, or you are just wasting time. I went through this with her before, we were not approved yet, but she still went full steam ahead looking at houses, wasting the agents time for months. Wasting my time for months. It was painful to see all these houses that we could not buy. To look at something that was out of reach.
Ultimately her parents agreed to be the bank and we bought this house that we have now and we can barely afford it. They should of said no to us, I should have said no to buying it.
She is starting that cycle again. One word stops it...NO. I will have to be strong. Things need to happen in certain order for a reason.
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
