FY: How are you? Ya know … its your sitch I have been thinking about the most… knowing you are in a similar area.
Thanks for asking, things are going pretty well for me, Cali. I'll try to make an update to my thread.
Originally Posted By: Cali
“I will not return to a loveless/sexless marriage” was laid out from the beginning and has been revisited and discussed.
Good. She heard you, so no need to go back there. (for quite a while, anyway)
I noticed several comments about "working on the marriage" "not doing our retro homework" etc.
I'm wondering if maybe you are trying too hard? I know you're tired and all, but this has to be pressure on your wife... at a time when:
Quote:
W does not cope well with stress
Maybe just quietly work on that "friends" thing that she says is missing. No relationship talks, discussion of what you need, or "work". This might help her feel more comfortable around you.
I don't think you allowed your wife to move back in too soon. Living together gives you guys a much better chance to rebuild connection, and more opportunity to work on the friendship. A team, covering each others back. Plus, it has to be better on your finances, which also reduces stress.
Attraction.
Remember, MLC is not about you! I know it's difficult, but try not to take it personally. Accept what is, but have faith that perspective can change.
Quote:
the confidence is there to a point, but I think its really taken a hit"
Understandably! So go back to DB101... fake it 'til you make it. A confident man is an attractive man.
Good on you for ramping up the GAL's. Making a satisfying life for yourself is attractive to others.
Quote:
I think if I was going to be divorced I think that would have happened already .. so I will dig in deeper for a bit more patience, focus on myself and see how this all unfolds
Words of wisdom given to me from my friend Raine when I was struggling about a year ago:
Originally Posted By: Raine
See there you have it. you know what you want and the wait will be worth it. Sometimes it's working through the other side of things to figure it out. You can be happy anywhere, in any situation.
Do you ever come out of the shower in a towel? You should!
Good luck in the game tomorrow!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
you know what you want and the wait will be worth it. Sometimes it's working through the other side of things to figure it out. You can be happy anywhere, in any situation.
