have i been making mistakes too long part 7

[sandi2]

I really want to accept it and give her what she wants at this point. Its just very hard. She says that it took her a long time to get to this point where she no longer wants to work on our M. It may also take me the same amount of time.

That point was made clear to me a few years ago. Sometimes it takes years before a W is ready to call it quits. She waits till she's through and then drops the bomb on her H. Most W's just want it over quickly and friendly as possible. The poor H is shell shocked and he's panicked and can't coop with what he's hearing and seeing in his W. He has not had years to adjust to idea of ending the M.

So, you have a very valid point.

I think teaching my kids to follow through with plans they have made is a good thing. Am I being selfish for trying to make him follow through?

No, but I think you need to talk to your W about this issue. Tell her from this point forward, the two of you need to discuss it and decide beforehand.

As far as being selfish, I don't agree with her. The child obviously wanted to hang out with you. However, I do think fathers are very sensitive to what little time they have with their children after trouble is come into the M. Maybe selfish is not the correct wording.

I told her that it was disrespectful for her not to even let me know she wasn't coming home. She said it is none of my business if she comes home or not.

I forget, are the two of you in-house S?

Okay, if that's the rules she wants, then don't call or text her anymore about what time she's coming home. Lock the doors, and turn out every single light in the house and porches. Then go to bed and if you happen to be awake when she shows up.....you pretend you're asleep. No questions the next morning.

I would think it is common courtesy to let someone know so they are not worried. Am I wrong? I was up most of the night worried if she was ok. She is a heavy drinker and I have always been there to make sure she got home ok.

It is common courtesy! However, your W is not that common person, right? And why are you still doing these things that she doesn't appreciate, such as staying up worried and making sure she gets home alright?

I know I shouldn't but I still worry for her safety and I thought it was plain rude not to at least call and say "hey I wont be home tonight.

Here's a tip. WW's are rude to the H.