Pp, like you and fogg, my W had a miscarriage. She wasn't the same after that, until years later when we had our first child. At that point, the baby was the center of her universe and I was just a bystander at times. I didn't deal with it well, and started drinking... and here I am.
I can't believe how many people go through the same things. But, I believe that you, and I, are growing and learning and bettering ourselves through these tough times.
Keep it up!
I appreciate you sharing that dday, I'm sorry that it happened. I remember talking to my W afterwards and she asked me if I was ok with everything, I said I was fine with it and talked about biology etc. Two weeks later I had a good friend die, and it all hit. She asked me again if I was ok and I told her that I was fine with everything.
At this point she wasn't sleeping so part of me didn't want to burden her with my own pain, and truly I was numb to it. Numb ...but also waking up in a full blown panic any time that my W had to use the bathroom at night.
Like you, I turned to drinking everyday, getting high, looking at porn, Facebook, TV, or all of the above at the same time. For the next six months, the moment I left work I had something in my system and it wasn't until we had a big blow up over it all mid year that I finally realized just how out of control I was. Unfortunately, by then it was too late.
The next six months I cleaned myself up considerably, my W and I spent our evenings holding hands walking Woofie, hiked together, meditated together, toasted with sparkling water in champagne glasses during the week and more. She's told me recently that by then she had given up and knew she was out the door so it was easy for us to get along. I wrote in my journal that December that 2015 would be the year I got sober, she left a month later and I did...
I saw that time as the potential of our marriage, she sees sees it as us together but her long gone. Damn it.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
