in house seperation (3)

[vise82]

Hey Enigma,

I think my DB feelings would change if I knew there was OM. I think it would be easier to detach. It would be easier to live a separate life. I was separating my self from her life during a point when she was going out drinking with her EA, my gay male neighbor.

Those visits have stopped, they still message each other but there are no more visits as he doesn't drink wine anymore (that's his reason he told my W)

I can see a change in my W, she is home more and more plugged into the family. My hope is high right now.

I want to take it slow as I still DB, see how things are after her work conference and the next weekend, she will be part of a wedding party. If going to a wedding doesn't influence her I don't know what would.

In the mean time I focus on me and my kids.

Sometimes I wonder what am I fighting for, physically she is loosing her luster and what I loved about her on the inside, well I never really see that anymore. Not to mention all the controlling manipulation that I now realize she was doing.

I don't want that, its what you said about a new relationship, I want a better one, if its with my W then its going to have to be different. I also want to fight for my kids to have us together , to give it a real try. I want to fight for me. Fight to make my needs and dreams relevant in my life again.