New post (was MLC w/EA possible PA) and confused.

[kyrie]

I go backwards by getting angry/reactive myself.
Yeah, I've tried that. That's when he wakes me in the night so we can "communicate about our problems". When I excuse myself then he accuses me of not wanting to work on it, putting up walls (like he has) and shutting down.
So I say, I know I am working on myself (which he turns around to mean I'm only loving myself/looking to myself), I can't fix him (which he explodes that I'm turning everything onto him), this is bigger than either one of us, etc. He keeps pushing and pushing!!
He actually said just prior to the divorce lawyer thing that he admits that he was very deceptive and lied. Not to confess it or get my forgiveness, but to "clear his conscience" whatever that means.
Remember he is a pastor... that's totally screwed up biblically...