Back on these forums again 2

[Mona52]

D17 has been sick since Sunday night so my life basically ground to a halt. Of course I had no help so my PMA is in the toilet. I am in a "Life is not fair and i hate the world" mood.

Jerk face called Monday night. Not to see how the kids are, but to look for his old cable box so he can return it to the cable company. He spoke to her on the phone, she sounded terrible. He did not notice at all.

I told her to tell him he cant come in, but S will leave the box on the porch.

I just do not even want to see him.

My friend asked me if I could even imagine being in a R where my S was faithful and gave me love and support.

That question was one gigantic 2x4.

So while I was taking care of my D for the last few days, I did mentally imagine it. I started mentally flipping through couples in my head. I was cherry picking certain traits from the men in each couple. Now I have this picture in my head of what I want from a H. And I cant see my H ever living up to that.

My man is not superman. He is someone who knows how to use a hammer. He buys flowers for me once a year, even the $3.00 carnations will do. He can take a fish off of the hook. He can talk to me intelligently about a classic Charles Dickens novel and knows enough about computers to hold conversations over the dinner table. He has a job. A job that he enjoys. He tells me all the time i am pretty. We cook and clean together. Maybe not always, but as a general rule. He encourages me to get my hair done and buy some clothes and decorate the house. A vacation with the family once a year will be extremely important to him.

In my head he has abs... but that is besides the point and not necessary.

THAT is what I want. How can I have that?