Wow, mind is blown 9

[Uphill]

My take on bailing when she did... I think she was 3/4 of the way to that point before any of these things happened. I was always the "backbone" who showed none of my own emotion and comforted everybody around me. When my uncle passed away, it was the same way. But it hurt worse this time. I wore the stone face because my dad, mom, sister, cousins were all a mess. I stepped up. Broad shoulders and chin high. I was a rock for everybody.... For about 2 weeks.

A little background on this, up until I was about 18 I never had a relationship with this uncle. He was kinda a drifter. Nobody ever knew where he was for months at a time. He got a bit more stable later in life and settled down. He happened to be staying in a town a few miles from where I had about 2 years of work coming up. Out of the blue, I called him and asked if he wanted a roommate to help with bills and have company to hang out with. Overnight we went from complete strangers to best friends! We lived life recklessly and grew a strong bond over them 2 years! After that we always had a very close relationship until about 4 years ago. He got very sick with cancer. I couldn't stand to see him like that so I distanced myself. Luckily, I grew a set and reconnected with him for about 2 months before he passed.

Ok back to the story, I faked it for about 2 weeks. XF and myself had plans for a few months to go out of town with friends. Wearing my strong face, I said we're not cancelling because of me "I'm fine". I wasn't. About 3 hours into the night I lost control. I cried like I never cried before. I finally felt like it was safe to do it. I was away from all the other people who needed me to be strong and I needed to let it out. After that XF said she didn't like seeing me like that. Understandable, but I think she always looked at me like the most solid person ever.

Fast forward 2 months. House fire time. The day after the fire, we went to help my friend sort through clothes that were donated from the community. There were lots of people there but eventually everybody left. It was only XF, friend, friends wife and myself there anymore. Me and friend (he was supposed to be at the party also, both of us missed it because my truck broke down) looked at each other and both broke down. We hugged like never before. We cried and held each other. Never before have either one of us cried in front of each other. It just felt so good to see him and everybody else get out and be there for them! I looked up at one point and XF had a blank stare on her face. She immediately said in a freaked out voice "I don't like this. I don't like this at all. The 2 strongest men I have ever met are hugging and crying right here right now!"

That is about the time her demeanor changed. I think she saw her "rock" crumble and didn't think I would ever piece it back together?