Wow, mind is blown 9

[asitis]

And you have learned how to care for yourself. You are a strong one with a lot of insights into yourself that will continue to stand you well.

As to why she chose that lowest point to bail on you, I don't know. She may not know. Neither of you may ever know. It is something you both would have to have some long talks and counseling to figure out what happened, why, how to make sure it doesn't ever again, and whether or not you can move on past that. If the opportunity arises to work on your R at that level, I'd say take it. If nothing else it will likely give you some closure and allow you to start trusting loving another again. You may likely not get that opportunity, and it will be difficult for both of you. But I'll throw out a John Gottman quote: "Within the worst relational conflicts lie the greatest opportunities for growth and intimacy." In other words, don't say it'll never work: you don't know until you try. It may work beyond your wildest dreams. Then where will you be?