Here's My Story...Need Guidance

[sandi2]

Wiseman, I am so glad you've read those two books. Maybe you can share with some other men how these books have helped you.

With that being said, should I set some time up to express my recent revelations to my W? I know that normally these types of interactions go against everything I have read on the threads, but I want her to know how I feel. Is this a wise move, or should I just keep them to myself?

That's the thing about getting excited over new information.......you usually want to share it. I see the same thing happen to men who read the LL book. They want to immediately apply what they've read. However, the LL book is very pursuing (IMO) and, usually, the application needs to sit on the back burner until she ends the A and they are both wanting to save the M. 

As much as you want to tell her how this information has affected you, this isn't the time. The WW sees it being a way of you trying to persuade her to give you another chance.
If this has really opened your eyes to the point you are determined to change and become the man you really want to be........she'll see it. Don't worry about the lack of interactions. I have seen guys who won't go out an GAL b/c they want to hang around the WW and "show" her their wonderful changes.....but it doesn't work. As long as he is trying to persuade her with words, or even his actions, it doesn't work. Do you know why the actions don't work when you are using them to persuade her that you've changed? B/c she can tell that's exactly what you are doing. She sees it as another form of pressuring her. It is like she has another sense and she can detect it pretty quickly.

How do I gain respect and become attractive if our interactions have almost completely vanished? I don't shower her with attention anymore, I do some housework (not all, more like 50/50), no cooking, but I do the grocery's (always have). What do I need to do to get her to possibly begin respecting me? Anything?

I think you have to let go of thinking about your limited time of interaction, b/c it will pressure you to try too hard...whenever you are in her presence.

You need to start today in becoming that great guy who does not tolerate disrespect from anyone, and especially your W and kids, but do it b/c you decide to live this way from now one. Get the right mindset and keep it 24/7. I believe when you see for yourself where you have gone wrong, then you can practice the right way (and act as if you are that guy women respect). Don't make any grand pronouncements about it. Don't set up a time to explain what you've learned. Just become that man.

I'll write more later. In the meantime, you can research your question on the Internet and see it is enlightening. Those articles about 5 reasons, or 6 steps, etc, usually doesn't begin to scrape the surface. Anyway, why not google it and see what you get.