Are these thoughts normal? Or am I missing a piece that would make things go smoother? I don't want to get to the point of not caring anymore because my family means everything to me.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
You will vacillate between sad, happy, detached, attached etc.
It's all a part of the process. Just allow yourself to feel your feelings and ride them out. A week from now you might be pining for your W again.
Just accept that your feelings might change pretty frequently and ride them out. Eventually you will reach steady-state and will know what to make of all of it.
Quick question for DB land. I am doing pretty well but am conflicted on how to handle myself later today. XF and S4 are attending a wedding today. Not a problem, but there will be drinking involved and I am almost positive that XF will over indulge. Do I offer to pick up S4 and make sure he is safe? Or let her HOPEFULLY make the right decisions to do that on her own?
The only reason I would reach out is him. I would not offer to drive her home, only make sure S4 is taken care of...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Why are you positive shes going to over indulge while she has S4? Has there ever been an issue before where she has endangered S4 because of her drinking?
If not I wouldn't just assume she is going to put her child in danger. It comes across as questioning her parenting ability and if it is the case I would be asking why you haven't looked into this already.
Shes an adult and until she gives you a legitimate reason to think shes going to put S4 in danger I wouldn't jump to conclusions.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
It's just a feeling I have fogg, no solid reason so I will let it go... I think it is more the people there are the type that will pressure and not think about consequences. I guess it's prolly all in my head, that's why I came here to sort it out.
Last edited by Uphill; 10/31/1503:22 PM.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
So today has been a little rough mentally. I went to pick up S4 earlier. Him and XF were showing me a few pics from the wedding they were at on her phone. She was extra protective over it as S4 was scrolling through pictures. Many times held phone back and found the pics I was "allowed" to see. No biggie, that kind of behavior is expected anymore. What did get me was when she was done, almost as if to make sure I saw it, she got to her home screen on the phone and locked it quick, but not before I saw a picture of her with a guy. In the split second I didn't make out who it was or anything else but it got in my head...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Laying low the past few days, haven't spoke to XF and nothing new to report. Just figured I would stop in and say hi!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I don't know if this is good or not but I'm going to put my thoughts onto print.
The past few weeks, I have been doing lots of thinking on this and I'm at a point that I need to get it off my chest. I still have days and things that make me miss XF. But when I have those thoughts they have been shifting from missing her to being repulsed by her (her actions and how she handled things, not her beauty). I get feelings deep down that at this point I may not be able to forgive her for all this hurt? I would have loved another chance with her but I feel the wounds are too deep...
This is where I get really conflicted. My sister and myself are very close. I try not to give her too many details of my sitch, instead I talk to her about everything I feel. The good, bad, ugly. All of it.
Through these past few months she has pretty much kept her thoughts to herself and just listened to me and gave me an actual person to vent to at times. She came to me about a week ago and said she has a friend from work who would like to meet me.
I am really tore up inside as to what I want to do? If I say yes to meeting this woman, I just have a feeling that will be when XF wants to "talk". If I say not right now, I could end up in this state of mind forever? If I keep pushing things off I may miss the opportunity of a lifetime? Or if I take a chance, I may also miss that chance of a lifetime with XF?
I know if it doesn't feel right I could just back off and explain that it isn't gonna work, but if I don't try how do I know it won't be great...
Crazy talk but had to get it out.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
