Becoming the Anchor, Part 4

[Flight]

Your sitch is complicated But to distill it down:

1. If it is abuse, you need out. I mean really. Do not be near him if he is capable of going off like that

2. You need to detach and learn your triggers so that you can remain calm, cool, collected and the hardest one, confident. You are in charge of your actions. If you feel that feeling like you are going to lose it, practice something else, leaving the scene immediately, snapping a rubber band on your wrist, counting to 10, going to your happy place, whatever it takes to NOT REACT in a negative way.

3.

He informs me I can place blame for destroying the family firmly on myself. We were going to work it out until I freaked out.

If I have read all your posts correctly, this is just pure script. "Well, I had been thinking about it and was going to give you another chance until you did [fill in the blank]. Now look what you've done". It is the perfect way to blamshift to you!

Focus on you to get clear on what you want. One affair forgivable, two affairs, three... He has issues you have no control over. No one can tell you what is right for you, just don't decide from the position of fear.